Stop Saying Yes To Everything

Or your life will revolves around other people’s priorities, not yours.

The pressure to say yes is everywhere. From career opportunities to social invitations, we’re constantly overwhelmed with choices that demand our time, energy, and attention. We applaud the “yes person,” someone who is always willing, always available, and always agreeable. But consistently saying ‘yes’ comes with a cost—one that can leave you exhausted, resentful, and a life that revolves around other people’s priorities, not yours.

Saying yes to everything might seem like a fast track to success, but the truth is: it’s unsustainable. And even if the guilt of saying no feels heavy, the weight of saying yes to everything is even greater. (Trust me, I’m a recovering people pleaser.)

So, here’s how to shift from automatic yes-mode to making more intentional decisions. Firstly, it starts by acknowledging that every yes comes with a cost.

The Hidden Costs of Saying Yes

When you say yes to something, you’re inherently saying no to something else. While you might not immediately feel the impact of each yes, over time, they accumulate and add up.

Let’s break it down:

• Time Costs: Agreeing to every request often means sacrificing the time you’d otherwise spend on other things - like rest, self-care, spending time with friends etc

• Energy Costs: Constantly saying yes drains your mental and emotional reserves. You can’t show up fully to any one thing when you’re constantly stretched thin.

• Opportunity Costs: By saying yes to things that don’t really align with your values or goals, you’re distracted from opportunities that might genuinely have an impact on your life.

Before you respond to any request, pause and ask yourself these questions.

• Does this align with my values and goals?
  Think about the bigger picture. If a request doesn’t fit into your personal or professional priorities, it’s okay to decline.

• What’s the impact of saying yes?
  Consider what you’ll have to sacrifice. Will saying yes take away from something more important? Will it drain your energy or leave you feeling overwhelmed?

• Do I genuinely want to do this?
  Is this yes due to obligation? Be honest with yourself: are you saying yes out of guilt or fear of disappointing others?

• What happens if I say no?
  Most of the time, the world won’t end if you decline. People prefer clear boundaries, rather than half-hearted commitments.

Let go of the guilt. Saying no often feels difficult because we don’t want to let people down. But here’s the truth: boundaries are a form of self-respect. When you say no to things that don’t serve you, you’re setting an example for others to respect their own time and energy too. Plus, every time you say no to something misaligned, you’re saying yes to something that matters more. Of course, knowing you should say no and actually doing it are two different things. Here’s how to make it less awkward and more effective.

How to Say No

Declining doesn’t have to be awkward or confrontational. Here’s how to make it easier;

1. Be Clear and Direct: Don’t over-explain or justify your decision. A simple, “Thank you for asking, but sadly I can’t make it.” is enough.

2. Offer an Alternative: If appropriate, suggest another person who might be able to help and offer to make an introduction.

3. Don’t Overthink It: People are more understanding than you think, and if they’re not? Well, that’s their problem. You can’t live your life trying to please everyone else.

When you stop saying yes to everything, you’ll start noticing profound changes. You’ll feel less rushed and more in control of your time. Most importantly, you’ll start living a life that’s aligned with your values, rather than one dictated by other people’s expectations.

So, the next time you’re faced with a request, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself whether saying yes is a good choice or whether it’s just adding another thing to your to-do list. Saying no might feel uncomfortable at first, but it will save you a lot of valuable time and energy in the future.

If this resonated with you, my new book, Decisions That Matter: How to Make Decisions in a World of Endless Choice, dives deeper into how we can navigate the overwhelming options in our lives and make more intentional choices. It’s available to pre order here.

Thank you for reading!