You're Not Overwhelmed, You're Overcommitted to Things That Don't Matter.

We’ve all been there—feeling overwhelmed by a calendar packed with commitments, tasks, and promises we’ve made. But, when we step back and look at what’s filling up our time, it’s clear that much of it isn’t contributing to what we truly care about. We're not overwhelmed; we're overcommitted to things that don’t matter.

The problem with overcommitting isn’t just about having too much to do—it’s that we’re giving away time, energy, and focus to things that don’t align with our values or long-term goals. When you spread yourself too thin, you’re not really present anywhere. You’re there in body, but your mind and energy are scattered. You show up at a dinner party, but you’re distracted, replying to work emails on your phone or thinking about what you need to do tomorrow. You’re there, but you’re not really there.

The consequence of this is real–we’re giving most of our energy to things that don’t matter, and by the time we get to what actually does matter, there’s little left for it.

So, why do we overcommit to things that don’t matter?

It's simple, really—we don’t want to disappoint others. We’ve been conditioned to be available, helpful, and accommodating. Whether it’s a friend asking for a favour, a colleague asking us to attend an event, or your in-laws requesting a visit, it’s hard to say no, even when we know deep down that we don’t have enough time and energy to do it all.

It’s easy to slip into the habit of saying “yes” to keep the peace or avoid uncomfortable conversations. But the longer we continue, the less likely we are to show up fully for the things that matter most. You owe it to yourself—and to the people you truly care about—to say “no” to things that you can not fully commit to.

It’s important to accept that what's important for you might not be important for someone else—and vice versa. What you choose to prioritise is up to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the truth is, when we continuously prioritise other people’s needs and demands, we often end up sacrificing our own. Over time, this leaves us feeling depleted and overwhelmed.

So how do you know what actually matters?

It’s not about what others think is important. The things that matter most to you are aligned with your values and long-term goals. These are the commitments that nourish you, the ones that bring fulfilment , growth, and high energy.

Think about the last time you agreed to something simply because you felt obligated to, or because it was easier than saying no. Did it actually contribute to your goals, or sense of fulfilment and wellbeing? Or did it drain you and offer very little value in return?

The Consequences of Overcommitting

When we overcommit, we often end up letting people down. This might not always be intentional, but if you’re constantly spreading yourself too thin, it’s inevitable. You’ll find yourself canceling plans at the last minute, showing up late, or not being able to follow through on those commitments. When we say we’ll do something, we need to be able to deliver.

We’re all adults, it’s time to stop saying yes to things we don’t want to do just to keep the peace. We need to commit to things we truly care about and show up for the people who matter. If I say I’ll be at your dinner party, I will be there—fully. If I promise to take care of your dog all weekend, I will follow through. That’s what matters to me: keeping my word and showing up for those who trust and value me.

The thing is, maybe we’re overcommitting because we think it’s necessary to fill our schedules with activities and events that will bring us closer to ‘success’ or fulfilment. In reality, it’s the opposite. Saying no to unimportant things creates the space you need for what really matters. It’s this space that allows us to focus, to breathe, to be creative, and to do our best work. Without it, we are constantly on autopilot—doing the bare minimum.

‘White space’ is essential to find clarity. It’s where you can take a step back and reflect on your next project. It’s where you can be intentional about your health, your relationships, and your long-term vision for yourself and your life.

Being overcommitted will hold you back. Take a step back, identify the meaningless commitments, politely decline those invitations and create space to show up fully for the things, and the people, that matter most.

If this resonated with you, my new book, Decisions That Matter: How to Make Decisions in a World of Endless Choice, dives deeper into how we can navigate the overwhelming options in our lives and make more intentional choices. It’s available here.

Thank you for reading!